
Dying: A Lesson in Living
Dying: A Lesson in Living
Episode 2: Interview With Melody Smith
Melody was recently diagnosed with glioblastoma. She tells us about what now matters most to her, and how she prioritizes her time.
Welcome to Dying, a Lesson in Living- today is Wednesday, October 30th. This interview is with Melody Smith who hails from White Oak, Texas, which is a town of about 7,000 people towards the Eastern side of the state. Melody has glioblastoma, which is essentially brain cancer. She found out about it just about a month ago in early September. I was frankly completely blown away by Melody's eloquence, her courage and her honesty and I think she has a great deal to share with us about what matters most in life. Her brother Danny Earls, sat next to her throughout the interview and occasionally you'll hear him chime in to help when Melody needs it. He's, he's clearly a really amazing, a really wonderful guy. Next, the audio in this recording is sometimes a little uneven. There are times when the audio drops a little, but on the whole there shouldn't be major issues. Lastly, the really amazing part of this story is that Melody informed me at the outset of the interview that she's deaf, which obviously came as quite a surprise. We conducted the interview with Melody reading my lips as we talked by video conference, which was absolutely amazing. Okay, with that, let's get rolling.
Melody Smith:okay. My name is Melody Smith. I'm 40 years old. I am currently a fifth grade teacher at White Oak ISB.. Been there for 19 years.
Micah Truman:What, what subjects do you teach?
Melody Smith:Um, right now math, I did special ed for 3rd, 4th and 5th grade for nine years. I did 3rd grade combo, I'm sorry. 3rd grade reading and writing for reading two years. I've also done first and second grade gifted combo class and kindergarten for four years. Hold on one second,- my hearing aids are messing up.
Micah Truman:It was at this point that I realized that Melody was deaf, which was certainly not something I had ever considered before
Melody Smith:I am deaf. Okay. Try that again. What did you say?
Micah Truman:I'm sorry. So Melody, let me ask, are you completely deaf or can you hear, are you reading my lips?
Melody Smith:I have 72% loss in my left ear and 78% loss in my right ear. I depend solely on lips.
Micah Truman:So you're watching me and you're understanding what I'm saying just through reading my lips?
Melody Smith:right. And there's sometimes a lag. And so the lips stop and I'm like, I don't know what you said!.
Micah Truman:[Laughs] Okay. I got it. Well, if anything becomes unclear, just tell me to say it again.
Melody Smith:I know I will.
Micah Truman:Alright, let's start out. So Melody, can you tell us about the information you received a month ago? What happened that that sort of changed your world?
Melody Smith:Oh, on September four, actually let me back up to September 3 I came home work very tired and normally h ad to take my s tepdaughter to gymnastics and girl Scouts on this day. And I called Allan and I said, I'm going to bed. I don't feel good. You're g onna have to run Gracie around. Got up the next morning. I slept all night, got up the next morning a nd went to work still didn't feel good, passed by my, u h, partner teacher. and she said,"what's wrong with you? Your eyes look really grey". I said, I just don't feel good. I'm l ike, g o put my laptop up. And go sign in I'll be i n a moment. And the next thing I know i s she come, she c ome i n and picking me up off the g round and called the office. Then I got A lan and went to the emergency r oom.
Micah Truman:Okay.
Melody Smith:And uh, that's when I found out through a CT scan that I have a golf ball size tumor, in my brain.
Micah Truman:And what, what happened? What did you think about when that happened? What were your thoughts then and...
Melody Smith:well, what was I thinking about?
Micah Truman:yeah.
Melody Smith:Oh my first thought was... shock, I didn't know what to think. You know, I've been very positive. I don't know why I'm getting emotional right now(laughs) because I know God's got this and I'm doing everything I can to fight it and I'm gonna fight the whole way.. Well a lot of things changed. I went to Longview Regional from the emergency room and that's when a neurosurgeon came in and said that we needed remove a tumor. And we needed team of doctors and I chose the team that was in Plano. So then we moved to Plano and went to the Plano medical center and they were amazing. Dr Chao was an amazing, neurosurgeon and he got all that he could get out that wasn't intertwined. If he got into those parts, then in, you know, we would have to hack into the brain. So there's still some pieces there of course. And it's all around. And I came out of ICU pretty well. In fact, the nurses said this is the first person I've seen with a craniotomy talk within two hours of waking up. Oh, and wanting to go to the bathroom and walk around. And so anyway,
Micah Truman:I understand. So a question for you. What, what has been the biggest change for you in the things you think about? What is really important to you now that maybe you hadn't thought about as much before you got your diagnosis?
Melody Smith:Living my life the way I want to and spending time with all my family and friends
Micah Truman:and it's family and friends. That's what's most important?
Melody Smith:Yes.
Micah Truman:And how do you view your time with them? Is that just your absolute priority?
Melody Smith:Yes,
Micah Truman:It was at this point that we began to talk about what was really important to Melody at work and we got into a whole bunch of different issues, but some of it got a little bit garbled. So I sort of cut that piece out and jumped into the section where Melody really began to talk about what was, what was really important to her, especially as we said before,, where she worked. I was saying, besides your family and friends, are there other things that are very important to you?
Melody Smith:Students and my job, they keep me.... that's my, oh,... I'm working and I love it and it's, I couldn't do it without them kids.
Micah Truman:From there, we very quickly segwayed from work to Melody's family and most specifically her stepdaughter,
Melody Smith:well, I have a stepdaughter and we were very, very busy and we did gymnastics, softball tournaments and uh, gymnastics, church... I was always doing things with her and since I got this cancer, we thought it would be best for her not to see me go through this. So that's what changed. But I think it's for the better- on this type of a aggressive brain cancer is not good. So to live my life and to try to be positive and to focus on getting better. So that's what I'm doing.
Micah Truman:So the decision was not to see your stepdaughter from now on?
Melody Smith:No, we're still going to see each other. It's just she's not living here anymore. It is visitation with us now instead of visitation with mom, everything just reversed.
Micah Truman:Initially I thought that Melody had children of her own, but she clarified that very quickly.
Melody Smith:I do not have any kids.
Micah Truman:You just have a stepchild.
Melody Smith:Yes, but she's my kid
Micah Truman:Here, I think Melody really set me straight. Uh, you know, her step kid is, is obviously her child and incredibly beloved to her and I really appreciated her making that so clear. Good. I have a question for you. If you have any message to the world because you're in a very special place, you have experience that really a lot of the world hasn't seen about how precious life is. What is your message to the world that you would say? What is the thing that you think the world needs to know? That we sometimes forget about?
Melody Smith:Stop, smell the roses, enjoy nature. Enjoy your life and do what you want to do. Stop being in such a rush.
Micah Truman:I hear that. Were you in a rush before?
Melody Smith:Yes. Always.
Micah Truman:Can you tell me about that?
Melody Smith:Just go go go, do do do. Life just goes by.
Micah Truman:And do you feel you've slowed down?
Melody Smith:Yeah, absolutely right. And I'm seeing things a lot more clearly.
Micah Truman:Can you tell me and what are the things you're seeing so much clearer?
Melody Smith:What really matters in life. Family, friends, just things in general that make you happy. Anything- playing pool, whatever it is that you like to do.
Micah Truman:I understand.
Melody Smith:I love to play pool.
Micah Truman:You do?
Melody Smith:Absolutely.
Micah Truman:Are you playing?
Melody Smith:Um, I am in a league, but right now I'm a little tired from the radiation and chemo, but I will go back. I have played twice so far since I got diagnosed. I'm just taking it easy.
Micah Truman:I understand. And when, you look forward now. What are your biggest concerns? What concerns you the most now that maybe didn't concern you as much before?
Melody Smith:The only concern I have is I don't want my parents to bury me.
Micah Truman:What do you mean by that?
Melody Smith:I don't want them to bury me.
Micah Truman:You mean you don't want to be buried?
Melody Smith:No. That's not natural. That's my only concern.
Danny Earls :She wants to be alive.
Melody Smith:That's unnatural. My parents should die before me. That's my only concer.n
Micah Truman:Ah, I understand... And what about now? Have you had a chance to think through the things that really cause you joy now? I mean, that's a hard one, but what are the things that make you happy? What are the things that that keep you excited?
Melody Smith:Oh, I've been doing lots of things- people have been really treating me well and taking me places and doing things. We've gone to concerts. I've had some teachers take me to the beach for the weekend. That was last weekend, which was awesome. I mean pedicures, a m assage t his week. A lot of families, a lot of family time, playing p hase 10 cards with my family.
Danny Earls :Um, your dogs, your dogs,
Melody Smith:my dogs.
Micah Truman:yup. Do you feel like your life became much more focused after this? Do you, what do you think?
Melody Smith:Um, I will say my brain doesn't work as good as it used to, but it is getting a lot better. But I am definitely focused on different things.
Micah Truman:Makes sense. Can you give an example of what you used to focus on and what you focus on now?
Melody Smith:Well, yeah, just going and doing and that's it. And now it's... Okay, I need to make sure I do this because if I don't... I mean. I'm just really more focused on time to fight the fight and continue to live my life the way that I want to live it.
Micah Truman:Okay, those are really most of my questions. Do you have anything else you want to tell our group?
Melody Smith:Be positive.
Danny Earls :Don't, don't take life for granted.
Melody Smith:Do not take anything, anything, not anything or any moment for granted. Not a one. And I mean it when I say stop, smell the roses, talk to the people. Ask people- Hey, how was your day? People are just always in a rush. Just go, go, go, go, go. And nobody pays attention. And there's so many people out there hurting, and all they need for you to say is, Hey, how are you doing? And do the things that you enjoy and quit trying to just appease people.
Micah Truman:Well that's amazing, thank you. Those are all the questions I have. I'll be working on this, on this first podcast for awhile. Okay. And we will upload it to the site. I'll definitely message you when it's, when it's all done.
Melody Smith:Is there anything else you need from him?
Micah Truman:I don't think so. Melody, I know you're busy and I deeply, deeply appreciate you talking to me today.
Melody Smith:No problem.
Micah Truman:All right. You be well. Bye.
Speaker 2:Ok, bye.